My Mother and Wife at Loggerheads

Dear Hilda,

I am in a situation that I don’t like. My Wife and Mother hate each other with a passion. At the moment they are not talking to each other. It makes me feel very uncomfortable. My Wife says that My Mother manipulates me and is rude to her and she won’t stand for it. My Mother said my wife is disrespectful and extravagant and refuses to come to the house if my wife is around.
I’m tired. Please help me before I slap somebody!

– Tony

 

Hello Tony,

This matter is a reoccurring decimal in many homes. The tussle for the love of the Son and Husband. You are not alone. But you should not sit back and do nothing.

Your wife may have her reservations about your Mother but the truth is that when she accepted to be your wife, she accepted not only you but all of your family. Your Mother is Mother to you both. You need to have a heart- to -heart talk with her.

Tell your wife how much your Mother has sacrificed for you and how she feels unsure of your love for her. Tell your wife also that your Mother wants the both of them to be best friends. Your wife needs to understand that she is the younger of the 2, she should be more patient. She will never win a war against her. Remind her that she will be a Mother –in –law too, one day.

Work on your Mom say similar things. Insist that your wife gets your Mother a lovely gift and goes to apologize to your Mother. Your Mother may be difficult initially, but if she sees that your wife is truly penitent she will come round.

The happier they both are with each other, the better for you. Encourage them to bury the hatchet.

Good Luck and all the best

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I envision Hilda’s Shoulder to be a relationship park-a place you go to learn, vent and share. I have another understanding of the word relationship -I don’t think it is for people dating only. A marriage is a relationship too, and one which needs great rela- tions in the SHIP called home!
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EXCLUSION CLAUSE

Dear Hilda, is for informational purposes only, does not constitute medical advice, and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician, mental-health professional, or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.
By submitting a letter, you are agreeing to let Hildas Shoulder use it—in part or in full—and we may edit it for length and/or clarity.



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