My Marriage – A New Thing

Stephanie didn’t follow the crowd throughout her days at School. She got married to Kayode as a virgin. The wedding was a dream! Below is her account of things thereafter:

“I have always fantasized about what sex felt like since I was a teenager. Was it hot, warm or sweet? On television it looked like it was sweet the way the participants’ faces looked. I had imagined how I would give my all to my Husband on our wedding night”

While we were dating, our Parents who are Bible believing, Bible living people, advised that we refrain from any sexual activity. Kayode kept to this to the letter. When I tried to make him ‘fall’, he resisted me without blinking. He was the ideal Husband-to-be. He made me laugh, showered me with gifts and was always proud to show me off to his friends and family. He always said he didn’t want the ‘devil’ to ruin our celibacy, so he didn’t encourage me much to visit his apartment.

“After the after-wedding party and back in our wedding suite, we both barely made it to the bathroom. I took my first shower as Mrs. Oyedele. It was a sweet shower. I wanted everything to be perfect. I slipped on a lacy nightdress Mother had got for me. It was see through. He had on only his pajama bottoms. As he set his eyes on me, he licked his lips and said he’d never seen a woman look so beautiful”. He grabbed me and we kissed and touched. Our breathing became very fast. I had never experienced this sensation before. It was getting very interesting!

I was in cloud 9, ready to be deflowered! All of a sudden, he turned me over on my stomach, dragged me to the edge of the bed, made me kneel doggy style, while he held on to my neck with one hand pressing on my throat! He pounded me hard! I have never experienced such pain in my whole life! It seemed he didn’t know he was dealing with a virgin! I screamed and kept screaming! No one could have heard! We are in the penthouse with a do not disturb sign on the door! Even if they heard, they would have thought it was ecstasy. I cried, I wailed! He wouldn’t stop!

After what seemed like an eternity, his body went into a series of spasms and jerks.He then half screamed, pulled it out of me, slumped on the bed and almost immediately, fell into a deep sleep and snored. Slowly, I put my legs together to stop the ooze of blood struggling to drip down my thighs. I put my hand in between my legs and made my way to the bathroom to wash up. As I shut the door behind me, hot tears freely flowed. This was not the way it was supposed to happen!

The next few days were not much better. I kept hearing my Mother’s voice in my head telling me that it was because sex was new to me that I hadn’t enjoyed it and that the discomfort would soon be over. I made up my mind to bear it. It was not easy to bear, but I found out on the internet that vaginal dryness could be helped with water based jelly. While he slept, I left the room to search for the jelly to buy… I got it. For the remainder of the nights, I went to bed each night with a ton of Jelly inside me to make my punishment less painful. There were no caresses, no more kissing. He wasn’t bothered that I wasn’t “ooo-ing” and “aaahh-ing”. He did it the same way and usually slept off after.

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I envision Hilda’s Shoulder to be a relationship park-a place you go to learn, vent and share. I have another understanding of the word relationship -I don’t think it is for people dating only. A marriage is a relationship too, and one which needs great rela- tions in the SHIP called home!
Hilda’s Shoulder is a place where we virtually hold hands like - real friends should. If you want to come anonymously...we understand ..still come! Hilda’s shoulder is here for you!


Dear Hilda, is for informational purposes only, does not constitute medical advice, and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician, mental-health professional, or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.
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