My husband is a thief. What should I do?

Dear Hilda,

I’ve been married for about a year now. We have no kids yet. I’m too ashamed to tell any of my friends except you this but, I’m suspecting my husband! I think he’s a thief! Not too long after we started dating he and his brother fought over some money his brother claimed he took without asking. He denied it. I believed him. When I started spending some weekends at his place, I wasn’t sure then, but I now recall that when I get home, I’d be missing small change from my bag.

Now after 1 year of marriage, money misses from my bag regularly. When I mention it to him he blames it on my younger brother who lives with us. I know it’s not my brother because my brother gets back from work after we do, and he never comes to our room. I have tried various things. I wrap my cash and hide it under the bed ,in drawers in the room, and still he takes it. I went on Dealdey and bought one of those spy pens so I could  see who the thief was .My husband is the thief! I confronted him recently and he did not deny it ,but said that he and I are one, and that he doesn’t need permission to take my money. He knows my debit card PIN and he sometimes draws on it without my knowledge.

Please what can I do?This is wrong!

Wife of sticky fingers


Dear Wife of sticky fingers, this is truly a sticky situation! I feel your pain! You really love your husband like every good wife should. I won’t say leave him! He is right when he  said you both are one, but he is wrong to take money from your bag or bank account without your knowledge or consent. By the way, what about his own cash? Doesn’t he work or run a business?

If you sweep this under the carpet, it may turn into a huge problem ruining your trust in him. For now change your spending habits and don’t bring cash home. Leave your debit card at work. Buy all you need before the weekend if you can.

After a few weeks he will want to know why the well of money is dry. Face him and speak your mind as respectfully and firmly as you can.



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I envision Hilda’s Shoulder to be a relationship park-a place you go to learn, vent and share. I have another understanding of the word relationship -I don’t think it is for people dating only. A marriage is a relationship too, and one which needs great rela- tions in the SHIP called home!
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Dear Hilda, is for informational purposes only, does not constitute medical advice, and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician, mental-health professional, or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.
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