A Problem With Self Sex

I’ve been wanking since I was in Junior School. Whenever I’m alone in my room, my mind gets filled with thoughts of wanking but I can’t fight it. I have been for deliverance in my church many times and I’m too ashamed to go again. I think it got worse in church because after seeing all those ladies moving their behind up and down, it used to make me hard. Once I got home, I’ll do it again.

I’ve tried having sex many times with girlfriends but it’s not the same pleasure I get. I kept having problems with them because even when they undress I’m not really hard. Most times, they’d get angry with me that I don’t find them sexy.

Now I’m married. I thought the problem would stop but it is rather worse than before. When I finish making love to my wife, I’ll wait till she sleeps then I’ll go and do it in the toilet.

Is it bad if I do it after making love with my wife? How can I stop?

Dave, Enugu



You are facing a very common problem with men. The body hormones and all have a way of wanting to control our sexual orientation. Nature designed your manhood the shape it did, so that you’d get the pleasure from a female and not from your hands. You’ve done it for so long that your system is used to it. It’s an addiction you should try to break.

I suggest you tell your wife about it. I hope she will be supportive. An extra pair of eyes will help to wean you off it gradually. Number 2 is to see your Doctor who may suggest some professional help. Number 3; if towards evening you are idle, get involved in physical activity like sports to wear you out, make love to your wife and sleep. Try as much as possible to keep your mind busy!

All the best!

No Comments Yet

Leave a Reply


I envision Hilda’s Shoulder to be a relationship park-a place you go to learn, vent and share. I have another understanding of the word relationship -I don’t think it is for people dating only. A marriage is a relationship too, and one which needs great rela- tions in the SHIP called home!
Hilda’s Shoulder is a place where we virtually hold hands like - real friends should. If you want to come anonymously...we understand ..still come! Hilda’s shoulder is here for you!


Dear Hilda, is for informational purposes only, does not constitute medical advice, and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician, mental-health professional, or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.
By submitting a letter, you are agreeing to let Hildas Shoulder use it—in part or in full—and we may edit it for length and/or clarity.

Recent pins
Nigerian Blind dating (fiction)
Black couple in this Black wedding inspiration. very moody with a dash of drama for a bold and unique bride, looking for something striking as the backdrop. The venue used local sand that was compacted to create the walls with their earth tones. #blackweddingideas #weddingthemes
Black Couple looking into each others eyes. #BlackLove
I Didn’t Know He Was A Driver
%d bloggers like this: