I Didn’t Know He Was A Driver

De‎ar Hilda,

I have been married for 3 years. I have 2 kids. My mom is Alhaja.

Before I got married I was dating one guy that was so caring and nice. He was always there for me. Alhaja said he is ‘faworaja’ which means he was fine for nothing and doesn’t have money. There was another guy who used to come to our shop with different jeeps. He showed interest in me and was always giving Alhaja small change and buying me things. Alhaja said it’s ok for me to follow him.

Now after 2 kids, I find out he has been lying when his Boss sacked him. He is not a big man but a driver!!! The other guy is still single. I want to go back to him. what can I do?i need happiness in my life.

Ronke, Ilorin.


Dear Ronke,

What do you want to do? if it will  make you happy to divorce your husband because he deceived you, then do so! What about the kids? Is the other guy ready to accept you and the kids? Supposing he is setting a trap for you to pay you back for leaving him? Do you know what is in his mind? If he doesn’t want you, can you foot the bills for you and the kids?

Think deep, your call here!


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I envision Hilda’s Shoulder to be a relationship park-a place you go to learn, vent and share. I have another understanding of the word relationship -I don’t think it is for people dating only. A marriage is a relationship too, and one which needs great rela- tions in the SHIP called home!
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