Hilda Help!

Dear Hilda,

I’m tired and confused. I have 2 girlfriends and one works in a Bank. She is a little older than me and she has a child before. She gives me money a lot and she trust me a lot. She is doing as if she wants me to marry her. She has house girl, driver and everything. When I go to her place, no stress at all. She does not like to do any housework and she can’t cook any good native soup, only stew. She don’t know how to please a man very well in the bed tho, she is trying. She said that if I marry her, she will give me money to do my own business because for now am not working. My family will not agree because of her child.

The other girl come from a poor family, but she really know how take care of a man. She can cook a very good native soup with just N2,000 and she washes my cloths very well. She is very good in bed and has fine shape and she is from my side. If I marry her hungry will kill us.

Please which one should I marry?

Aboy, Abuja


Dear Aboy,

Don’t be a greedy boy. I’ll start with the 2 timing and then answer your question.

Not matter how right you think you are, 2 timing never helped anybody! They will hear sooner or later and you will lose both of them. Man up and get a job-whatever the (legal) job! I don’t know the banker but the money is sweet for now, how do you know that you will not become her slave in the house? How will you enforce the promise to set you up, if she doesn’t keep it? Will you divorce her? I didn’t see anywhere where you wrote that you love her o! so obviously you don’t.

If cooking, housework and great sex are your thing, then marry the one that you seem to prefer – though she has no money. Does it mean she will never have?

My advice is you should focus on what you can do to better your cash flow. That way, if you make up your mind to follow the banker, you will keep your respect as a man. If it is the other lady, you get your respect plus the type of woman you really want.


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I envision Hilda’s Shoulder to be a relationship park-a place you go to learn, vent and share. I have another understanding of the word relationship -I don’t think it is for people dating only. A marriage is a relationship too, and one which needs great rela- tions in the SHIP called home!
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Dear Hilda, is for informational purposes only, does not constitute medical advice, and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician, mental-health professional, or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.
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