Help, My Maid Has Taken Over My Family!

Dear Hilda,
I don’t know what to say again about what I’m going through. I’m married with 3 kids. My Husband is a Pastor and also owns his own business. Until now, I never doubted his love for me!

I have been working for 10 years in the same company since before we got married. The house we got is very far from my office so I have to leave the house like 4.30am. My husband does the school runs and sometimes has to help me buy groceries and stuff we need at home. I usually come home when the kids are asleep. Hence, I don’t do much cooking.
Recently, we got a new Housemaid. The problem I’m having is that the girl is too fine. She is slim and tall with a flat stomach and small waist. As funny as it may appear, she seems to be trying to take my family away from me.

My children beg me all the time to ask her to make indomie and Jollof rice for them. They say her cooking is really good. As for my Husband, he no longer asks me to cook over the weekends. He says he wants me to rest and not to stress myself. He prefers to eat the maid’s cooking, even when the soup has been in the freezer for a while! I’m shocked at this because he used to complain about eating soup that’s not freshly cooked. To my greatest shock, my Husband and children have been eating freshly pounded yam with all manner of Calabar soups every week.

My husband never has much to say when I complain about the girl being rude or lazy.

I’m tired of this girl and I want her out of my house! Please tell me how to go about it because I won’t be able to cope without a maid.

Thanks,

Idara

Hello Idara,
I’m sure a lot of women have this problem too. Being a working Mom is not easy. Again being a diligent employee and a great Mom/ Wife can sometimes be a North and South relationship. I’m not saying quit your job to be a great Mom/Wife.

Your maid obviously cooks well no doubt. What you could do is restructure your time.

Can you take at least one day every week to get home early? Make sure that it’s not one particular day of the week. See how you can play a more active role looking after your family.

Can you afford some level of bulk shopping weekends? Ask your husband to let you help the kids with homework over the weekend and try to know your kids better. You and husband can sneak off for an hour or two to take a drink, eat out or go dancing. Just bond and let your Family miss you much when you are away.

For the next few weekends, ask your maid to cook. Stay in the kitchen with her and probably learn how she does it. When you feel confident enough to cook the same soups as well as she does or even better, send her packing! You hired her so you can fire her. Do so when your husband is out of the house. You may not be able to pound yam during the week but if it’s what your family loves, try making it over some of the weekends.

When you get another maid, be the one to show her how to cook, so she knows that Madam too can cook.

No one should make you feel uncomfortable in your own home.

Hildas Team

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I envision Hilda’s Shoulder to be a relationship park-a place you go to learn, vent and share. I have another understanding of the word relationship -I don’t think it is for people dating only. A marriage is a relationship too, and one which needs great rela- tions in the SHIP called home!
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EXCLUSION CLAUSE

Dear Hilda, is for informational purposes only, does not constitute medical advice, and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician, mental-health professional, or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.
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