Faith and Fate 1

“My wife is looking like under 16!” Said Mama Obiageli, my husband’s Aunt. My mother (who everyone that attended my traditional marriage knew, was a woman who spoke her mind, whenever to and to whomever), grunted and replied quietly “How does she look like under 16?”
Is this how she looked when you people came to beg for her hand in marriage?” Her voice had begun to go slightly high. I knew her next move was to raise her voice.
Mama Obiageli, seemed oblivious. She went on, “No my in-law, who will see her and believe that she has dropped 3 already?”.
I dived in to avoid my mother’s response.
“Maami, I’ve got some of that ikokore you love. Should I warm it up for you?
“Oyin Mi, this is not time for food I need to tell these people how to …”

My father, who had been reading the papers didn’t stop looking at his paper but cut in; “Mama Oyin what’s the raucous about…don’t forget that this is not your house”.
He went back to reading his paper.
Mum was mad, but she held it in really well. She shifted several times in her chair as if something was biting her on the bum and made grunting sounds. I smiled inside.

Okey had been somewhere near the passage way, watching the drama. As I passed by him he beckoned to me to follow him to the children’s room.
Okey: I hope you are very happy now
Oyin: How, how do you mean?
Okey: it’s you now, you went to report me to your family that I don’t have money and I’m not treating you well. That’s why your mother is insulting my family!
Oyin: My husband, why do you talk like this, as if you don’t know how my mother is. It’s not even about me, she just wanted to tackle Mama Obiageli. You know that they can’t stand each other .
Okey: I don’t care if they can’t stand each other. Just find a way to tell your mother to show respect.
Oyin: and how do you want me to that, Okey?
Ask me again, Okey said walking out of the room hissing.

The naming ceremony was over before I knew it. I was relived the guests were gone. Okey was nowhere to be found.
Before Maami and my dad had left she drew close to me and said it was rude for Okey to have left his guests at home the way he did. I didn’t have the opportunity to defend him because my father gave her a stern look which made her hurry her steps up and get into the car.

I had a feeling that when he got back the house would be hot. He always said it that my mother rubbed it in his face that he was not rich and in turn he made me feel like the cause of our financial struggles.


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I envision Hilda’s Shoulder to be a relationship park-a place you go to learn, vent and share. I have another understanding of the word relationship -I don’t think it is for people dating only. A marriage is a relationship too, and one which needs great rela- tions in the SHIP called home!
Hilda’s Shoulder is a place where we virtually hold hands like - real friends should. If you want to come anonymously...we understand ..still come! Hilda’s shoulder is here for you!


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