Keeping it Real

When you read about “Oyinbo” people having bulimia, anorexia OCD, etc we may say that black people are too “hard” to have any of those types of mental illnesses.

I differ, most of us grew up as and are also raising “emotionally hushed up” children in the bid not to expose our short comings to “what will people say”.

Many have perfected the art of conditioning their personalities. They are one person at home, another personality at work and yet another in Church/Mosque or wherever!

I’m working on an interview with a few women who have seen the “other sides” of very respectable people, when they let more than their hair down! It’s an eye opener! Coming soon!

Like someone suffering an eating disorder, we gorge on a lifestyle that we cannot afford, stay in an unhealthy relationship, live a life we hate, then beat ourselves up emotionally…almost hating & vomiting the person that lives in our skin.

Have you noticed the greatest buzz words on search engines?? No 1 on the list is sex or porn followed by weight loss, skin lightning, hair, make up, fashion…. People virtually want to be born afresh…they want crash diets that make a size 26 become a size 12 in a couple of weeks, they want transformation make up and all, all the while adding to emotional baggage.




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I envision Hilda’s Shoulder to be a relationship park-a place you go to learn, vent and share. I have another understanding of the word relationship -I don’t think it is for people dating only. A marriage is a relationship too, and one which needs great rela- tions in the SHIP called home!
Hilda’s Shoulder is a place where we virtually hold hands like - real friends should. If you want to come anonymously...we understand ..still come! Hilda’s shoulder is here for you!


Dear Hilda, is for informational purposes only, does not constitute medical advice, and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician, mental-health professional, or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.
By submitting a letter, you are agreeing to let Hildas Shoulder use it—in part or in full—and we may edit it for length and/or clarity.

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