Cheating But Still In Love

A man can cheat on his woman and still love her but a woman cannot cheat on her man and still love him. I say this because while men do not mix sex with emotions, women can’t have sex without attaching emotions to it. This is the reason men simply need a place to have sex while women need a reason to have sex.

Many wives who file for divorce are those that cheat on their men. A wife (and an African woman at that) who isn’t cheating, would most likely not file for divorce, unless the man exceedingly abuses her physically or emotionally.

For Men, sex is not love. A man can have sex with another woman and not love her. That’s why women who fall in love with married men find it difficult to find happiness in those relationships, as they are just being used by the married men as sport. However, once a married woman starts cheating on her husband she can even give away her husband’s deepest secrets or tell her lover how much she hates her husband. She can even accept poison from her lover to eliminate her husband.

The fact that your man is cheating on you doesn’t mean he has stopped loving you. But I can’t say the same for women. Once a woman starts cheating on you, she has fallen for someone else and things won’t quite be the same.

It has been discovered that 95% of women who cheat, wish their husbands dead. That is the main reason why it is dangerous for a man to continue staying with a wife who cheats on him. That is why it is now encouraged everywhere in the world including in the Bible, for a man to divorce his wife only if she starts cheating on him. Cheating women are more deadly to husbands than ordinarily criminals or weapons. There are many cheating women in the world who invite criminals to break into her house at night only to come and eliminate her man and police officers plus relatives can’t detect this as the same woman tend to moan more than any person at the funeral so as to attract sympathy and hide her evil acts.

That’s why psychologists discourage women, more than men, from cheating. Women can’t handle the emotional conflict that comes with cheating.

That’s the reason an observant and intelligent man will notice that his wife has started cheating on him once he starts doing it because most women tend to lose respect to their husbands and try to avoid reduce the number of times they have sex.

Cheating Women usually give excuses for not wanting to have sex with their husbands. Studies have revealed that nearly 90% of women who cheat, find it hard to have enjoyable sex with their husbands/partner, again an intelligent man will detect this once his wife’s/woman’s behavior regarding sex changes. But a not-so-observant husband/ partner might not notice the changes until it’s more or less too late!

Many women who cheat married or not, say they have a legitimate reason to do so-Some are getting back at a man they fell in love with , who broke their heart, some say if my man is doing it, why can’t I? Some just do it because the one they love can’t give them all the nice toys they want and “somebody’s gotta pay the bills”, still some say, “have many men and gradually begin to let go of the terrible ones till you get Mr. Right’ A guy who sleeps about is an admired “dawg” and a woman who does same is a “slag”! Whatever your reasons may be for cheating, you are a full grown adult. Nobody is going to beat you up for being unfaithful. Whether you are a man or woman, weigh your actions well, you may be living life too much on the edge and throw away a very beautiful relationship. If your partner is not what you expected, be dignified enough to let them go. If your spouse is not ‘hitting it” let them know and both of you can find ways to make things better- there are so many resources out there, internet, counselling, church, family, etc.

While I will not advocate being in a relationship “just because”, please keep it very real and be with the one who makes you happy!


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I envision Hilda’s Shoulder to be a relationship park-a place you go to learn, vent and share. I have another understanding of the word relationship -I don’t think it is for people dating only. A marriage is a relationship too, and one which needs great rela- tions in the SHIP called home!
Hilda’s Shoulder is a place where we virtually hold hands like - real friends should. If you want to come anonymously...we understand ..still come! Hilda’s shoulder is here for you!


Dear Hilda, is for informational purposes only, does not constitute medical advice, and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician, mental-health professional, or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.
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