10 Falling in Love Assumptions by Her

Some demographics seem to suggest that females in Nigeria outnumber males. It was so in my classes all through school. Maybe it was so for you too!
So, the assumption is that since the Men are fewer than the Women then, not all Women will get a Man or Husband and if they do, they will get somebody else’s man or hubby.
When a Woman is lucky (and I say lucky, because as much as the internet has vanquished distance, it is still tough to get a good man) to meet a nice ,good man (she thinks!) she  may fall deeply in Love wrongly assuming that because :

  1. He suits her, so it is vice versa with him.
  2. The sex is good and they have lots of intellectual discussions and plenty laughs, that he can’t have it better with someone else
  3. You watch him shoo away other girls when you are around  and he says you are ‘The One’, that you really are!
  4. He gives you good, great or regular sex that it  necessarily means it is because he is in Love.
  5. He seems to be having misunderstandings with almost everyone around him but you, doesn’t mean it is Love!
  6. That he says ‘I Love you’ half of the time doesn’t mean didly squat. How does he walk his Love talk?
  7. You’ve been to his Village 10 times  and know most of his close  relatives, is not full proof either! Many men have taken more than one girl to their village so that their relatives can ‘choose’ the better or best of the lot!
  8. All his friends know you and seemingly like you, may mean he does like you and respect you! He may love to show you off, but it doesn’t mean it for loves sake!
  9. Because you told him everything about you ,you feel that he will appreciate your honesty and love you back the same way is no guarantee.
  10. He is so possessive, wants to know who you are with and where you were, second by second, or sniffs your underwear a lot because he says he loves the smell..Girlfriend! You had better run! That can never be Love!
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I envision Hilda’s Shoulder to be a relationship park-a place you go to learn, vent and share. I have another understanding of the word relationship -I don’t think it is for people dating only. A marriage is a relationship too, and one which needs great rela- tions in the SHIP called home!
Hilda’s Shoulder is a place where we virtually hold hands like - real friends should. If you want to come anonymously...we understand ..still come! Hilda’s shoulder is here for you!


Dear Hilda, is for informational purposes only, does not constitute medical advice, and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician, mental-health professional, or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.
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